Life is a Roller Coaster

You Just Gotta Ride It! 

In Western society, we structure our lives around cycles and routines. We divide time into 24-hour days, 7-day weeks, and 12-month years. We establish bedtimes for children, create morning routines, and set schedules for school and work. Why? Because we crave familiarity. The brain thrives on predictability—knowing what comes next helps our nervous system stay regulated, giving us a sense of control. 

But what happens when that routine is disrupted? What if the plan changes? How do we cope then? 

As adults, we can often rationalise, adjust, and create a new plan. But even for us, unexpected change can be challenging—just think back to 2020, when life as we knew it was upended. Despite humanity’s long history of adaptation, change rarely feels easy. Why? 

Now, imagine how this must feel for children who have never experienced consistency—where unpredictability is the norm, and life can change at any moment. When there is no routine, the brain stays in a constant state of alertness. The autonomic nervous system kicks in automatically, preparing the body for the unknown. For a child living in this state, hypervigilance becomes second nature. They are always prepared, always on edge—just like being on a roller coaster. 

The therapeutic process mirrors this experience. Healing is rarely a straight path from A to B. Instead, therapy moves in loops and twists—up, down, backward, and forward. It gently pushes the boundaries of our comfort zone, our window of tolerance, which can feel overwhelming, sometimes even triggering an automatic stress response. This is why therapy requires moments of repair and slow, steady progress. 

Just today, a child in play therapy built a “roller coaster” for us and the toy characters to navigate. It wasn’t smooth, and it certainly wasn’t straightforward. Along the way, unexpected obstacles appeared, forcing us to pause and problem-solve—just like the real challenges this child faces in life. With an anxiety-inducing few weeks ahead, the complext emotions felt were metaphorically expressed through play. The obstacles were unknown, but we faced them together, and in the end, we made it through. 

Riding a roller coaster can be both exhilarating and exhausting. Now imagine living that way every single day. No wonder we seek comfort in routine. 

Twists and turns - what is coming next?