Communication

What is behaviour? Why do we have it? Why do we do it? What does it reveal about us? What if I told you that behaviour is a form of communication? How might that change the way we view it? 

To understand this concept, consider one of your own behaviours. Why do you do a certain thing, and what does it tell you about yourself? Is there a message you are trying to communicate, or perhaps something you’re trying to conceal? Interestingly, many of our behaviours are instinctive. To "control" them, we must first know ourselves well enough to predict how we might respond in certain situations. Then, we need the strategies and tools to manage those reactions. Yet, we expect children—with their still-developing prefrontal cortex—to “manage their behaviours” as if they already have this level of self-awareness and regulation. 

Behaviour offers valuable insight into what might be going on for an individual. It often serves as a reaction to something—whether internal or external—and this response isn’t always negative. Positive behaviours can also be triggered by various stimuli. The key is recognising that all behaviours are responses to something. 

Let’s explore an example to illustrate this. 

Jack, a 9-year-old boy, struggles to stay in the classroom when there is a supply teacher. At the slightest provocation, he runs out, disrupting the lesson and requiring an adult to supervise him. On the surface, his behaviour seems disruptive and defiant. However, upon learning more about Jack, we discover that as a baby, he often found himself in chaotic environments. House parties brought waves of unfamiliar people into his home. He would be placed in his cot or bouncy chair, unable to move, surrounded by noise, and left to observe. This early experience shaped his perception of safety and control. 

Now, imagine Jack in the classroom with a supply teacher. He doesn’t know them and feels unsure if he can trust them. The class begins working on the assigned task, and the noise level gradually increases. Jack’s discomfort grows; the rising hubbub, combined with the presence of an unfamiliar adult, amplifies his stress. He becomes overwhelmed, his thoughts clouded by the noise and uncertainty. Unlike when he was a baby, Jack now has an escape route—his legs. So, he runs. To him, this is a means of self-preservation. 

But this isn’t immediately apparent to the supply teacher, who sees only the disruptive behaviour. Nor can Jack easily explain his actions—he may not even understand them himself. This is where a knowledgeable, empathetic adult can step in, offering perspective to both Jack and the teacher. By piecing together the story behind the behaviour, they can identify its triggers and work toward creating a supportive environment. 

It can be challenging, in the heat of the moment, to step back and evaluate the behaviour in front of us. However, perhaps it’s time to start viewing behaviour as an opportunity to understand, rather than merely as something to correct. After all, behaviour is universal—it’s something we all share, and it always has something to say. 

What is around the corner?