We all have moments when we react to things—often without thinking about it. And no matter how “together” we think we are, these reactions are part of being human. But does it mean there’s something wrong with us? Absolutely not. It simply means we’ve lived life, and our experiences shape how we respond to the world around us.

Every experience we have, whether it’s something we see, hear, taste, smell, or touch, creates an input to our brain. This input travels through the nervous system and reaches the base of our brain, where it’s quickly processed. The brain then decides whether the experience requires further thought or an immediate reaction. For example, imagine you're crossing a road and a bus suddenly appears out of nowhere. Your eyes register the danger, and your brain instantly sends a signal to your legs to move quickly—no thinking, just action. This reaction is an instinctive survival response, based on past experiences/understandings that have taught us roads can be dangerous.

Our brains are incredibly efficient at keeping us alive, reacting to external stimuli in ways that ensure our survival. When an experience happens repeatedly, the brain creates a neural pathway—essentially a mental shortcut—that leads to an automatic reaction. Over time, these pathways become ingrained. But some of these responses are formed early in life, and we might not even remember the experiences that created them. Yet, our bodies remember, and when something similar happens, we find ourselves reacting as if we’re reliving that original moment, even if the current situation doesn’t warrant such a strong response.

So, what does therapy have to do with all this? Often, when we try to manage these automatic reactions on our own, we’re relying on the very same mental patterns that created them. Therapy offers the opportunity to step outside of our personal experiences, to share our thoughts with someone else who can offer a fresh perspective. This helps us gain some distance from the overwhelming rush of emotions and thoughts that often accompany our reactions.

Crudely speaking, our memories are stored in the right hemisphere of the brain, where there is no clear sense of time. This can make it feel like we’re reliving past events in the present moment, which is why our responses sometimes seem disproportionate to the current situation. Therapy allows us to bring the logical left side of our brain back online so we can start to manage the remembering right side in real time and regain a sense of control.

When we seek therapy, we’re not admitting there’s something wrong with us; we’re acknowledging that our experiences—both good and bad—have shaped us in ways that may need some reworking. Therapy provides a space where we can be heard, accepted, and valued. A skilled therapist can help us connect the dots, guide us in understanding our reactions, and help us manage them more effectively in the moment.

Life’s experiences leave their mark on us, and sometimes, it helps to have someone outside of ourselves who can offer a different perspective. We can choose to fight our reactions, or we can choose to work with them, understanding that they’re part of who we are—and that with the right support, we can learn to navigate them in healthier ways.

Why Therapy?